This morning I peeled a couple of peaches for my parents, and when my dad said "thank you", it actually felt good to hear it. All of a sudden, I remembered how good it used to feel every time my parents were pleased that I obeyed them. When I was a child, I craved their love and approval.
It made me wonder...when did I stop liking obeying my parents? As a teenager, I guess you could attribute it to puberty and whatnot, but my rebelliousness lasted much longer than that.
I was shocked to realize just last year that even through all of the anger and bitterness towards my father, I actually still deeply cared about what he thought of me. I think that was part of what fueled my anger, mixed in with other issues. No wonder God tells us to "Flee the evil desires of youth" -2 Timothy 2:22.
As I am thinking these days about what it means to be an adult, and getting my priorities straight, I am becoming serious about being a good daughter to my parents. And I don't want to just tolerate them; I want to be loving and generous towards them. And in part, that means obeying them with the same joyful willingness that I had when I was a kid.
Of course, now I know better than to depend on their approval for my own happiness and security- that dependence I now place in Christ. I realize that for many years, I projected my resistance to authority onto God also, and it held me back for a long time. Now, I don't want to obey Him grudgingly, or simply out of obligation. I want to bask in the freedom that comes from obeying Him, and to obey with a joyful, willing heart. And I want that to be reflected in how I treat my family, my friends, even strangers I come into contact with in passing.
I never thought my childhood memories would become useful, but remembering how I used to eagerly obey my parents has definitely shed some light on how to live joyfully. Thank you, God.
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